A million

i found a million dollars today under a park bench, but i spent it on gum.

Buying A Dream

hahah! today i got up extra early. today was going to be the day. i've been saving for over six years. now was the time to buy that thing that i've waited forever for. My very own unicorn! i had ten thousand dollars saved. i wasn't sure what a unicorn cost, but i was sure that was enough money. I anxiously looked through the yellow pages searching for unicorn stables. finding none, i settled on the first horse stable in the book.
when i arrived at acme stables i was so excited i could barely stand it. I ran up to the man there and said, "i'm here to buy a unicorn!" he gave me the strangest look. "how much do you have to spend?" he asked. "ten thousand dollars." i said, "in cash!" i waved the bills in the air. "wait here," he said, "i'll be right back!" as he ran off, i could hardly bare the anticipation.
he was gone so long i almost gave up hope. then he came back with the most beautiful animal i've ever seen! it had the most luscious grey coat and between it's two long ears was the most mesmerizing sparkley golden horn. I had to have this unicorn! just then the unicorn let out the biggest heehaw i've ever heard. "only the finest of unicorns bray that way!" the man assured me. "i'll take him!" i said handing him my money.

Boy, A Hair Cut Sure Can Change The Way You Look

I was walking downtown today when i noticed a strange man staring at me. when he started walking towards me, i crossed the street to avoid him. unfortunately this didn't deter him much as he crossed the street when i did. i was really scared now. he kept getting closer and closer. when he got to me, he reached out his arms to grab me. i instinctively punched him in the groin and he fell on the ground. i just kept kicking him over and over knowing if he got up, he would get me. that's when grandma came out of the store yelling, "what are you doing?" i hadn't seen grandpa in over a month and he just got a new hair cut. sorry grandpa.

Pudding Surprise

I had some pudding for lunch today. when i pulled it from the fridge, i noticed it was already open a little. i opened it the rest of the way and to my surprise it had green hairy clumps on top. "troll sprinkles!" i yelled as i grabbed a spoon. I love little surprises like that.

Jesus goes to my church

jesus came to church today. he doesn't come every sunday, probably more like once every two months. i'm kind of afraid to approuch him, but i would like to get to know him better. he drives a blue mini van. it has a fish on the back. he has a personalized licence plate that says "JESUS1". one time he drove by me on the street and beeped at me. i waved. it made me feel good. I wish he would come to church every sunday.