Batboy, I am Your Father blog2

Dad let me play with his light saber today. It was a lot of fun! Well, except for the cat incident. Sorry Fluffy IV, or as he is known now, the head of Fluffy IV. Anyway it was a lot of fun! That thing slices and dices way better than that Ginsu Knife that they had to take away from me in Kindergarden! Sorry Fluffy I. Mom says no more cats for some reason. Anyway, it was fun!

Darn Arsonists!

I was going to go fishing. That is why I was digging for worms when I hit that gas pipe. All I know is that I woke up in the middle of the street and half the neighborhood was on fire. Last thing I remember was running in the house to get those matches so i could see down the hole. The only thing I can figure is that an arsonist snuck up on me from behind, knocked me unconscious and stole my matches to light the neighborhood on fire. That must of been what happened. Now will someone please help me find my eyebrows?

Honest Abe blog 2

I know I said I was going to start cloning Abe back in March, but the chemistry set that I ordered was put on back-order and when I finally got it there were no cloning instructions in the set. Well, long story short, I sent it back and got the fifty dollar set because I thought it would have more instructions, but there were no cloning instructions in there either. This is going to be harder than I thought.

Dine and Dash

Hahah! I feel so alive! Today I did a Dine and Dash at this restaurant and it was really exciting! The bill came to $7.40 and when the waitress brought it and walked away I threw $10.00 on the table and ran the heck out of there! Man, that was the craziest thing I have ever done. I sure am glad I didn't get caught.

Plastic Allergy

I found out this morning that I'm allergic to plastic. I was playing with a plastic bag and when I put it over my head I had trouble breathing, but when I took it off I was fine again. Now I'm probably going to have to take shots or something! What a drag! :(

Knock On The Noggin blog 2

I hit my head really hard again today. It made me realize that I'm not who I thought I was. I'm really not Hannah Montana. No wonder those people kept calling the police every time I showed up at that beach house. Well, I guess I better get back to the Tipton Hotel. Mr. Moseby is going to be furious with me. I hope I still have my job as a bellhop. Esteban needs to put food on the table.

A Million blog 2

Hahah! I am sooooo stupid! I just figured out that million dollars I found under that park bench was just a dollar bill. Someone just drew six zeros in after the one. I thought that pack of gum was expensive. Well... it was the kind with juice inside.

Buying A Dream blog 2

I was really mad yesterday. The unicorn that I bought lost his horn. I ran to the phone immediately to call the stable where I bought him. The man told me that the warranty expired the day before and there was nothing he could do for me. Well, what could I do? I decided to take a look. Maybe I could glue it back on or something. When I went to pick up the horn, some of the glitter came off in my hand and I realized that the horn was made from paper with glitter glued onto it. Then I saw that the elastic band holding the horn on had broke. So, I just tied it back together and put it back on the unicorn. That was easy!

Batboy, I am Your Father

Today I found out that Darth Vader is my father. I always thought he was a little creepy for some reason. I could never put my finger on it though. My mom says I was an accident. That it was a one night stand. That they were drunk and she just asked if she could see his light saber. Whatever. I think I'll ask him if he wants to throw the ball around.

Time Flies

I've always wanted my very own dinosaur. I guess that's way I built the time machine. I really don't know that much about dinosaurs. I guess that was my biggest mistake. It ate a couple of people so I had to take it back. My bad.

Close Encounter of the Worst Kind

I was abducted by aliens last night but I put my foot down. No anal probing unless they promised to marry me. I got a nice engagement ring out of it.

My New Hat

I saw the most awesomest hat in a store window yesterday. I really wanted to buy it but the price on the hat was 60 dollars and when I reached in my pocket to see if I had enough money, I only had 57 cents. Looking more closely at the hat, I figured that I could make this hat myself with things laying around the house. I ran all the way home with ideas racing through my head. When I got there I immediately started to look for the materials to construct this beautiful masterpiece that would become my new hat. I was lucky enough to find a paper plate, a large rubber band, and an assortment of crayons and markers. Perfect!
I decided with Easter coming I would draw a cute little bunny on it. Then I attached the rubber band as a strap to hold it on my head. Taaa Daaa! just like the one in the window. Well, better than the one in the window but I don't like to brag. Now it was time to go out and show off my new hat.
I put on my hat and went downtown. There are a lot of people downtown and the more the better. Everyone was staring at me. I would just smile and wave. The people were all pointing and laughing. Who knew a hat could bring so much happiness to people. I think it was a big success! If anyone wants me to make them one of these wonderful hats, just let me know! 40 dollars with free shipping! that's 20 dollars less than the one in the store window.

Knock On The Noggin

I hit my head really hard today. For a moment I couldn't remember who I was. Then I remembered I lived in a beach house with my brother and dad. I'm a famous singer you know. No one knows this but I'm really Hannah Montana. We have kept that a secret because I wanted a normal life while being a pop star. The best of both worlds. Life is sweet. Now if I could only remember which way to the beach house.

Honest Abe

I was there the night Abraham Lincoln was assassinated. I knew good old Abe pretty well. I was sitting right below the balcony. It's pretty gross but a piece of his brain landed right in my lap. I kept it in a jar all these years until cloning technology was developed. I begin cloning experiments next week! It will be really good to see old Abe again.

A million

i found a million dollars today under a park bench, but i spent it on gum.

Buying A Dream

hahah! today i got up extra early. today was going to be the day. i've been saving for over six years. now was the time to buy that thing that i've waited forever for. My very own unicorn! i had ten thousand dollars saved. i wasn't sure what a unicorn cost, but i was sure that was enough money. I anxiously looked through the yellow pages searching for unicorn stables. finding none, i settled on the first horse stable in the book.
when i arrived at acme stables i was so excited i could barely stand it. I ran up to the man there and said, "i'm here to buy a unicorn!" he gave me the strangest look. "how much do you have to spend?" he asked. "ten thousand dollars." i said, "in cash!" i waved the bills in the air. "wait here," he said, "i'll be right back!" as he ran off, i could hardly bare the anticipation.
he was gone so long i almost gave up hope. then he came back with the most beautiful animal i've ever seen! it had the most luscious grey coat and between it's two long ears was the most mesmerizing sparkley golden horn. I had to have this unicorn! just then the unicorn let out the biggest heehaw i've ever heard. "only the finest of unicorns bray that way!" the man assured me. "i'll take him!" i said handing him my money.

Boy, A Hair Cut Sure Can Change The Way You Look

I was walking downtown today when i noticed a strange man staring at me. when he started walking towards me, i crossed the street to avoid him. unfortunately this didn't deter him much as he crossed the street when i did. i was really scared now. he kept getting closer and closer. when he got to me, he reached out his arms to grab me. i instinctively punched him in the groin and he fell on the ground. i just kept kicking him over and over knowing if he got up, he would get me. that's when grandma came out of the store yelling, "what are you doing?" i hadn't seen grandpa in over a month and he just got a new hair cut. sorry grandpa.

Pudding Surprise

I had some pudding for lunch today. when i pulled it from the fridge, i noticed it was already open a little. i opened it the rest of the way and to my surprise it had green hairy clumps on top. "troll sprinkles!" i yelled as i grabbed a spoon. I love little surprises like that.

Jesus goes to my church

jesus came to church today. he doesn't come every sunday, probably more like once every two months. i'm kind of afraid to approuch him, but i would like to get to know him better. he drives a blue mini van. it has a fish on the back. he has a personalized licence plate that says "JESUS1". one time he drove by me on the street and beeped at me. i waved. it made me feel good. I wish he would come to church every sunday.