Batboy, I am Your Father

Today I found out that Darth Vader is my father. I always thought he was a little creepy for some reason. I could never put my finger on it though. My mom says I was an accident. That it was a one night stand. That they were drunk and she just asked if she could see his light saber. Whatever. I think I'll ask him if he wants to throw the ball around.

Time Flies

I've always wanted my very own dinosaur. I guess that's way I built the time machine. I really don't know that much about dinosaurs. I guess that was my biggest mistake. It ate a couple of people so I had to take it back. My bad.

Close Encounter of the Worst Kind

I was abducted by aliens last night but I put my foot down. No anal probing unless they promised to marry me. I got a nice engagement ring out of it.

My New Hat

I saw the most awesomest hat in a store window yesterday. I really wanted to buy it but the price on the hat was 60 dollars and when I reached in my pocket to see if I had enough money, I only had 57 cents. Looking more closely at the hat, I figured that I could make this hat myself with things laying around the house. I ran all the way home with ideas racing through my head. When I got there I immediately started to look for the materials to construct this beautiful masterpiece that would become my new hat. I was lucky enough to find a paper plate, a large rubber band, and an assortment of crayons and markers. Perfect!
I decided with Easter coming I would draw a cute little bunny on it. Then I attached the rubber band as a strap to hold it on my head. Taaa Daaa! just like the one in the window. Well, better than the one in the window but I don't like to brag. Now it was time to go out and show off my new hat.
I put on my hat and went downtown. There are a lot of people downtown and the more the better. Everyone was staring at me. I would just smile and wave. The people were all pointing and laughing. Who knew a hat could bring so much happiness to people. I think it was a big success! If anyone wants me to make them one of these wonderful hats, just let me know! 40 dollars with free shipping! that's 20 dollars less than the one in the store window.

Knock On The Noggin

I hit my head really hard today. For a moment I couldn't remember who I was. Then I remembered I lived in a beach house with my brother and dad. I'm a famous singer you know. No one knows this but I'm really Hannah Montana. We have kept that a secret because I wanted a normal life while being a pop star. The best of both worlds. Life is sweet. Now if I could only remember which way to the beach house.

Honest Abe

I was there the night Abraham Lincoln was assassinated. I knew good old Abe pretty well. I was sitting right below the balcony. It's pretty gross but a piece of his brain landed right in my lap. I kept it in a jar all these years until cloning technology was developed. I begin cloning experiments next week! It will be really good to see old Abe again.